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again, there

by h. pruz

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1.
old car 04:03
drive me back in your car windows down we’ll let the neighbors hear it take me home on the back roads so the earth won’t be as rough when our words pile on it — pull my teeth before I drown in what we know will only hold us it’s not aligned this isn’t love so don’t you dare slow down — our best times were driving we both can keep our eyes off what we can’t see in the other thinking one of these days I’ll let you hear it how I sing — pull my teeth before I drown in what we know will only hold us it’s not aligned this isn’t love so don’t you dare slow down — stop on this hill let’s look at where we could’ve lost it all but we might’ve lost it all you’re so messed up that’s probably why I got in
2.
trailhead 06:04
memory’s a trailhead choose the path that’s sweeter ignore guardrails the edge is our leader your last lesson was how to drink the air sip it slowly It’s how I feel you later lay your head down next to mine let the parts of me that touch you speak the things I hide I like your lips how they part and rise you can talk of logic and I’ll kiss your mouth – and I hope I still know what you like I hope I still know what you like – you take a separate road when we say goodbye same track plays I repeat it the whole ride I think I’ll call you after I get high adopt the pace of nature we’re changing all the time – and I hope I still know what you like I hope I still know what you like – because it’s been quite some time
3.
where is it that I got lost where is it that we left things off moving fast can be our pick me up fight me, fuck me eviscerate our love exhausted parts exhausted parts exhausted parts just worn down to the metal
4.
expanses 03:41
I look across expanses what do you see when your eyes give a meadow you can touch a meadow we could be home if we reach she holds her hand over my heart reason or is it she that leaves me but a meadow I - oh, a meadow we could be home if we reach she looks across expanses a meadow if you reach
5.
meeting 05:34
I’m shy so softer now that you’re home you know I’ve never been too good at speaking hide what I’m meaning don’t try to keep it up since you unlocked it I swear it’s real in the carolinas with space to reckon hold my hand say we don’t like the drama pick your side I’ll cast a spell it’s all magic in carolina there ain’t much to do but just get used to how you look in the morning all that I want how we part is how we lose how we come to meeting carolina can you call me? the way i sound in your lungs days are slow we’re always tired from sharing too much said your mama had a feeling that maybe this would hold and how we are shows in our patience for this whole time we’d both been waiting said when you come there I will meet you in the places we kept wandering start the truck it’s getting darker and we’ll see where the gravel takes us
6.
how long 03:41
how long how long how long how long have we been this close? how long to go how long has it gone too far we start to see you in my face

about

again, there is the stunning debut EP by Brooklyn singer-songwriter h. pruz (full name Hannah Pruzinsky). It’s a quiet, powerful record, leaving its mark not with force but with gentle turns of melody and cutting lyrics delivered softly, easily. It’s a front porch with wind chimes sounding; it’s a nap on the couch on a summer afternoon; it’s a pair of dirty hands in compost, letting dead things turn into something richer, kinder. It’s fuzzy memories overlaid on each other to form the present.

The songs took shape as Pruzinsky spent time away from their home city in more rural settings — spending time in the Carolinas, visiting her Pennsylvania hometown, hiking excursions upstate. Oftentimes their voice barely breaks a whisper, as if deferring to the quiet of the trees. Though the EP was recorded in their New York apartment, while working as a medical practitioner in two Brooklyn ERs during a pandemic, the country had sunk into the songs. References to forest-bathing and hiking, to rough back roads and gravel, to meadows and hills, are peppered into their lyrics.

She recorded remotely with Asheville-based multi-hyphenate Colin Miller (MJ Lenderman, Wednesday), exchanging demos recorded in bedrooms and closets. The sonics are intimate, down to the sounds of lips parting and pick scraping string. Though they couldn't physically work together, the two found themselves intuitively, almost psychically tuned in to the emotion and truth at the core of the songs.

“The first notes of the guitar and her voice took me somewhere else. It held onto me. I remember saying “damn” quietly to myself…” says Miller. “In producing these songs I’d often times record with the microphones gained up high so they were sensitive to everything in the room and that I had to play quietly to not overload them. I used a lot of classic southern Appalachian instruments and sounds that I equate with feeling at home to me.”

As Pruzinsky wrote, often without even planning lyrics until she began playing, she noticed cycles and tides; of relationships, of the self, and of time and place. They were coming to terms with their queerness, while getting to know old friendships in the context of their changing, blooming identity. They were growing closer to some people, and apart from others; getting to know themself, while learning they didn't know much for certain at all. She combed through memories, finding and bathing in the common threads.

“Each time you come back to certain themes or repetitions, you’re there again, but there’s some sort of really beautiful growth and change and renewing that happens each time,” she says. “These songs have been a practice in letting go and observing — something that is very hard for me to do,” continues Pruzinsky. “And now, it’s time to move forward and tear myself away from this repetitive cycle. Instead of just wandering now, I feel like I’m more at a crossroads, and it’s time to choose what side to take and where to go next.”

credits

released November 4, 2022

songs written and recorded by hannah pruzinsky
acoustic guitar and all vocals by hannah pruzinsky
electric guitar, lap steel, keys, flute, dulcimer, banjo, drums, bass by colin miller
co-produced by hannah pruzinsky and colin miller
engineered, mixed, and mastered by colin miller
artwork by sarah bradley

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h. pruz Brooklyn, New York

composting memories

@hanapruz

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